Reflection, Relationships, and Resilience – The title to a bad holiday novel

LogoThis sounds like the title of a good holiday novel and in some ways, the parallels are not dissimilar.   Usually, in the holiday novel, there is controversy within a relationship which takes us through the emotions of betrayal, mistrust and hurt; as experienced through the eyes of the main character in the book.  Upon reflection, the parties are able to find common ground, learn to honor the differences between them and in doing so, find acceptance and compassion.  This builds resilience within the relationship and they get to live happily ever after (sorry to cut your holiday experience down to one analytical paragraph).

These three R’s make up the basis of emotional and social intelligence.

There is now overwhelming evidence to support the claim that emotional intelligence is the leading factor in successful relationships, both personally and of course, within the workplace.   The more developed we are at self-regulation and our ability to integrate that self-awareness into our daily interactions will directly determine the outcomes that we experience. 

So if this is such a huge tool for us to have on board, why is it that we, as a culture are so resistant to learning more about this?  Why do we write it off as some ‘Airy Fairy’ social experiment relayed to us by the ‘intellects’ that have no experience in the real world and certainly have no idea of the pressures within the business sector?  Why does this subject make us feel as though we will be seen by others as weak and vulnerable?

Isn’t it interesting that we are seeing an increase in the demands placed upon workers, where schedules are tight and expectations are higher than ever before.  We have mobile devices to aid our efficiency and yet we race around with no time at all and the standard fob-off line is “I’m too busy”.  We have a blurring of the professional and personal timelines, an absolute intolerance of others (in general) and mental health is on the rise.

And just as a wee side note, yes anxiety and burn-out in the workplace are included under the mental health banner just like addiction to coffee, sugar and your phone!

These are all ways in which we are attempting to cope, it’s as simple as that. Let’s talk less about KPI’s and forecast projections and more about why Sue from the office drinks just a little too much or why Pete had an affair last year.  Let’s talk about the anxiety in our youth and why we come back from a holiday and within two weeks, we need another.  We are slow to engage in ways where we could be interacting differently.  Without reflection, relationships and resilience we have chaos and/or rigidity both of which are present everywhere you look.

Soooo, my request, my desire, my absolute pleading to anyone and everyone who can step back enough to see what is occurring in the present world,  have the curiosity to explore how there could be a completely different way of interacting while in fact being more successful!  Please please please explore this subject just a little more.  Step forward as today’s leaders, with an open mind, seek further education into how these three R’s could be the change that we all desperately need.   Rant over, if you have read this far, I truly thank you!

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